nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
