I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
