dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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