I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
