I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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