chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
