Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize