I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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