ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
