hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize