Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
