please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
