i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
where are my eyebrows?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
