She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
