You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All the doctor said was why
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
