Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
