thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
