I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
