he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
