...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize