If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
