Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize