we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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