your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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