i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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