I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
so much tequila, so little girl.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
