Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
