That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
