No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
