I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize