I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
