i think my mom watched the whole time
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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