i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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