There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
40s are totally the cure
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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