when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
