remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
