His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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