I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he thought i was a dude.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
