remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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