So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
