put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
