i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
