if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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