I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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