Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
