There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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