I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
In America we eat man semen.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
