I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
