spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
