38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
