Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
