the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
