super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
