My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
