the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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