i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
