im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize