i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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