i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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