She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
