Someone shit on the floor
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
