why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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