My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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