I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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